This mom's thoughts, concerns, prayers on the upcoming furlough

In the missionary world, this is true across the board, the task of preparing for furlough takes a lot of brain cells with all the decisions that need to be made.

• Every item you pick up is saying you need to make a decision about me.  Are you going to pack me, store me for future use, give me away to some other needy missionary or national, is this a pack me for furlough or a pack me for storage and last but not least, "will I need it in the next couple months?" 
• You stand in the store and say to yourself, I don't like this time in my life.  I don't want to ponder every item in my cart-if it will be used up before then, or will it store ok, or do you want to share a bag with me to a friend who is going furlough at the same time.  It is almost like a Go Fish game.  Do you have a bag of flour, yes.  Do you have a small amount of chili powder?  No Go Fish (to store). 
• You count the cans in your pantry and figure out how many more days you have till you leave and try to think through the variable of how many meals will you be invited to. You do the same with the meat in your freezer.  Who says that Algebra isn't used in real life???  Ok, I don't think I will stretch the math concept that far.   
• You spend hours and hours on the computer figuring out college things. Google maps is on your favorites tool bar because you are trying to figure out how far it is to point A, then B then C. And how you can throw a map lesson or a history lesson into the stops as you travel. After a long morning or afternoon on the computer you are frustrated because nothing was taken off the to do list but 10 things were added.   Your brain is mush and you go walk around the house to try to put items in boxes.  
• When your child comes home from school with their shoe being held together with masking tape and all you can say is, xx amount of days left, keep the duct tape close by for repairs.

• You go to hang up laundry outside and anything with elastic is stretched out past recognition, your undergarments are holding together with very little material, the white clothes are now a brown- well that is what you think that piece started out as white.  Anything that had color in it is now down to a pale likeness of that item.  
• Your youngest is growing so fast that every item of clothing that she wears goes to a friend that is smaller than her.  You are wondering what is this child going to wear on the airplane?  No matter how jet lagged we are Walmart/Target will be the first stop on the way to the hotel. 

Now onto the more serious side 

 In many cases furlough happens when a child is graduating from High School.  So on top of packing, sorting, organizing etc. you are dealing with good-byes for the child that is graduating, the emotions of leaving what they know as home (some kids know PNG as their home country, better than they know their own passport country), dealing with college acceptance and scholarship issues, picking classes for next semester while still studying for finals in High School, dealing with housing and food plans and getting the college physical done, all done while you are on another planet-or might as well be, because of all the time zone and culturally different things.  Even in this technology driven world that we are living in, there are so many hurdles and considerations that need to be done and done on a time line and deadlines.  But still living the busy life that happens in a third world country. Compounding the busy life of a teenager on the brink of adult hood. 

It is very easy to look at the ever so long to do list and get overwhelmed because it is so long and so many tasks take multiple steps to complete and takes time to mark the project as DONE, DONE, DONE. The plates keep spinning as one is trying to balance all the emotions that other children in the family are feeling with the fast approaching furlough.  They will need to say good-bye to friends that may or may not be here when they return. The idea of leaving their sibling on the other side of the world is hard to comprehend and one that can make the younger siblings overwhelmed. They are unsure of life and issues on the other side of the world.  Some children were just young enough before coming, to not remember much of friends, activities, housing etc.  So the unknowns are scary!  Then there are the situations where the child does remember their life in the states but for whatever reason doesn't have a lot of positive memories of friends or school or life in general.  They are the ones that are doing awesome in their current environment but furlough means giving that up for a season. Knowing that when they come back friendships will have changed along with maturity in other areas.  Then one needs to deal with "finishing" well and what that entails.  Finishing your job, finishing the project, finishing any ministry items you or your family are involved in. 

Knowing that God's plan is not always what we think and dream for it is ALWAYS better but it is still hard to walk through when the plan has changed mid way through.  For example, expecting to see a friend when you return from furlough but situations change and they may not be here when you return.  How do you convey that to your children?  Especially when it hurts you as deeply as them.  

Many discussions around the dinner table the closer we get to furlough are about the foods we will eat when we get "home", the places we will visit, the friends we will see, the adventures that will happen and the dreams we have for the future.  Sometimes, in those fun family moments someone will say something that causes me to stop and ponder what that child is saying behind the words or the behavior.  Is this age talking, is this furlough anxiety talking, does this really mean what they are saying?  Trying to grab those meaningful conversations amongst the  busyness of life even if it is when you are trying to get hair done for one child and get them out the door for school.  The busyness and the stressful cannot override the time to "hear" what the child is "really" saying.  

Knowing that the next 5 1/2 weeks there will be an ocean of tears shed around this center and in our family alone.  When we come off the plane in the continental United States, we will probably be shell shocked and overwhelmed.  Please give us time and grace to deal with this.  We do want to see each one of you and spend time in REALationship with you, but it may take some time to get over the mountain that we will call grief.  

The Bible says: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.