“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
We have experienced many different seasons of life, some to be expected, some much UNEXPECTED. This will be one of those blogs of living life in the season of unknowing, unsure, unsettled, and uncomfortable. I hope that King Solomon is not rolling over in his grave at my interpretation of what he wrote in Ecclesiastes.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
This has been a time of mourning and a time of seeking as we have entered this phase of our missionary life called furlough. To be brutally honest, it has been a hard, difficult and a very confusing time for me. While we were still on the field and approaching furlough I began really asking missionary veterans of their experiences while on furlough and some insight on what to do and not do. I came to realize there isn’t a formula that states, “If you do this then this will happen.” Much like raising a child, they don’t come with a user manual for each model. When we first went to the mission field, it was a new experience and a new adventure but there were those that had gone before us and were there to guide us through those all-encompassing first few months. You become very close to the people you are serving alongside because that is your “family” on that side of the ocean. They are your support base, your sounding board, your accountability. They get you!
A time to love, and a time to hate. They know what it means when you haven’t had cheese in the store for months and you need to get even more creative with recipes and preparing food for your family. They get what it means when a minor injury can go really bad really fast and you always need to have a contingency plan ready in case a medevac is needed. They understand when the store has limited hours, and you are working full time, and you are unable to get to the store because you can’t leave a classroom full of children to go get a dozen eggs.
A time to break down, and a time to build up. You build a bond of helping each other out even if they don’t ask. You are at the store so you grab a dozen eggs for them. Or you go sit with a sick child so they can be a sub at the school for a class or two. You do life together.
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
This has been a time of mourning and a time of seeking as we have entered this phase of our missionary life called furlough. To be brutally honest, it has been a hard, difficult and a very confusing time for me. While we were still on the field and approaching furlough I began really asking missionary veterans of their experiences while on furlough and some insight on what to do and not do. I came to realize there isn’t a formula that states, “If you do this then this will happen.” Much like raising a child, they don’t come with a user manual for each model. When we first went to the mission field, it was a new experience and a new adventure but there were those that had gone before us and were there to guide us through those all-encompassing first few months. You become very close to the people you are serving alongside because that is your “family” on that side of the ocean. They are your support base, your sounding board, your accountability. They get you!
A time to love, and a time to hate. They know what it means when you haven’t had cheese in the store for months and you need to get even more creative with recipes and preparing food for your family. They get what it means when a minor injury can go really bad really fast and you always need to have a contingency plan ready in case a medevac is needed. They understand when the store has limited hours, and you are working full time, and you are unable to get to the store because you can’t leave a classroom full of children to go get a dozen eggs.
A time to break down, and a time to build up. You build a bond of helping each other out even if they don’t ask. You are at the store so you grab a dozen eggs for them. Or you go sit with a sick child so they can be a sub at the school for a class or two. You do life together.
A time to love, and a time to hate. Then you go back to your home country and land in craziness. Yes, you have 24 hr grocery stores, smooth roads, heat and a/c, cold milk, convenience foods, drive thru galore, reliable internet, etc., etc., etc. But in a lot of cases you are living out of your suitcases and doing lots of travel to meet with your supporters, and you may be dropping a child into college life and praying that they adjust well to all their new stuff- praying that they will because you are juggling so many other balls you can’t see adding their stuff into the mix. But as a mom you do handle more things than you think you could ever handle.
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak. You may not have a home base for months. You are throwing your children into this mix of trying to make new friends but knowing their hearts and thoughts are back on the mission field because that is what they “know”. If it is your first furlough, or I can image even for the seasoned furloughing missionary, you are constantly saying, “Did I make the correct choice in their schooling? And does this choice work for each child, or each furlough? Should I have done this or that? Will they be where they need to be when we return? Did I get the right classes to fill the credit needed for the one in High School?” If the child is complaining of the school choice, do you consider it a true complaint, or is it them being kids and the grass is always greener on the other side?
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. We have been blessed because we were able to go back to our pre-missionary life with our home and our cars and our church community. In so many others’ situation, that isn’t the case. Missionaries have to be reacquainted with all the changes in the world AND borrow/buy a car or rent a place or pray that someone can house them for a good period of time. I think to myself, that maybe I am not cut out to be a career missionary serving oversees because I don’t know if I could add the uncertainty of where we live and transportation worries onto my heaping plates of questions.
A time to weep and a time to laugh. Yes, there are others in your organization that are on furlough with you during the same time period. But they are living life and figuring all their stuff out wherever they are. It could be California, Japan, Pennsylvania or Texas. So you don’t have that daily or weekly connection of, “Wow, this situation was hard as I had a missionary moment of not knowing how to swipe the debit card in the machine!”, or “pulling onto a road and realizing that you are not driving on the correct side!”
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak. You may not have a home base for months. You are throwing your children into this mix of trying to make new friends but knowing their hearts and thoughts are back on the mission field because that is what they “know”. If it is your first furlough, or I can image even for the seasoned furloughing missionary, you are constantly saying, “Did I make the correct choice in their schooling? And does this choice work for each child, or each furlough? Should I have done this or that? Will they be where they need to be when we return? Did I get the right classes to fill the credit needed for the one in High School?” If the child is complaining of the school choice, do you consider it a true complaint, or is it them being kids and the grass is always greener on the other side?
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. We have been blessed because we were able to go back to our pre-missionary life with our home and our cars and our church community. In so many others’ situation, that isn’t the case. Missionaries have to be reacquainted with all the changes in the world AND borrow/buy a car or rent a place or pray that someone can house them for a good period of time. I think to myself, that maybe I am not cut out to be a career missionary serving oversees because I don’t know if I could add the uncertainty of where we live and transportation worries onto my heaping plates of questions.
A time to weep and a time to laugh. Yes, there are others in your organization that are on furlough with you during the same time period. But they are living life and figuring all their stuff out wherever they are. It could be California, Japan, Pennsylvania or Texas. So you don’t have that daily or weekly connection of, “Wow, this situation was hard as I had a missionary moment of not knowing how to swipe the debit card in the machine!”, or “pulling onto a road and realizing that you are not driving on the correct side!”
A time to break down, and a time to build up. You add to all this the pulls of family and churches and doctor appointments and connection time with others and EXHAUSTION from being on the field-even if it was a great experience. The countless decisions that bombard you on a daily basis from anything as simple as, “Will I use a 20 lb bag of flour in the next few months?” Or the simple question that a waiter would ask, “How would you like your burger cooked?” Not mooing anymore is not an acceptable answer.(it has been tried). And you want to throw up your hands and say “Calgon, take me away!!!”
A time to seek, and a time to lose. When we first landed on American soil we took the first week and half to have great family reconnection time and getting our feet wet in American culture by landing in Hawaii.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together. Then when we hit the mainland we hit the ground running to get our list done before we sent our oldest off to college. We even did the Missionary Debriefing thing that gives you a lot of tools to help through this crazy time of life. Then we were gone for a month to settle our oldest into college and drive across the States for the other 2 to experience some of American culture.
A time to plant and a time to pluck up what was planted. We came back and dove right into homeschooling and figuring that whole process out. The first few weeks were rough to say the least, as we were ALL trying to figure out the system and how we were going to live life as a homeschooling family. You start to get into a schedule and things are starting to click and THEN…..
A time to keep and a time to cast away. You hear of something that has your heart strings pulled across the ocean because of stressful situations in the other world that affects many people you love in your other life. But daily your struggle is, “Should I feel this way? “Should the uncertainty of life still be bothering me so?” Or “what should I be doing to prepare for the next term?”
A time to mourn and a time to dance. Then you have to come to terms with the fact that you have changed while you were gone, and so have those around you. Trying to maneuver the social graces of who wants to hear our story and who just wants the shortest condensed version of the last 3 yrs. Then deal with any type of loss that happened while you were gone and to grieve when everyone else has grieved months ago and are onto the next stage of life. Or trying to get caught up on others’ lives and your heart breaks over and over of all the STUFF that they have gone through in your absence. At times it seems to be a major race in trying to catch up with the race of life, and you are like a hamster going on a wheel nowhere. Wondering will I ever catch up or should I just go hide in a corner with a cup of coffee and a really good book.
A time of war and a time of peace. The first few months had been crazy and a whirlwind. I want to have a peace before heading back into the crazy life called being a missionary in a third world country. It seems to boil down to my need for someone to just “get” me and to know that I am not alone in this journey called furlough.
Through all of this, God is good all the time! God is faithful! God is all knowing! God is there all the time and He does “get” me.
Thank you Jesus!!
A time to seek, and a time to lose. When we first landed on American soil we took the first week and half to have great family reconnection time and getting our feet wet in American culture by landing in Hawaii.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together. Then when we hit the mainland we hit the ground running to get our list done before we sent our oldest off to college. We even did the Missionary Debriefing thing that gives you a lot of tools to help through this crazy time of life. Then we were gone for a month to settle our oldest into college and drive across the States for the other 2 to experience some of American culture.
A time to plant and a time to pluck up what was planted. We came back and dove right into homeschooling and figuring that whole process out. The first few weeks were rough to say the least, as we were ALL trying to figure out the system and how we were going to live life as a homeschooling family. You start to get into a schedule and things are starting to click and THEN…..
A time to keep and a time to cast away. You hear of something that has your heart strings pulled across the ocean because of stressful situations in the other world that affects many people you love in your other life. But daily your struggle is, “Should I feel this way? “Should the uncertainty of life still be bothering me so?” Or “what should I be doing to prepare for the next term?”
A time to mourn and a time to dance. Then you have to come to terms with the fact that you have changed while you were gone, and so have those around you. Trying to maneuver the social graces of who wants to hear our story and who just wants the shortest condensed version of the last 3 yrs. Then deal with any type of loss that happened while you were gone and to grieve when everyone else has grieved months ago and are onto the next stage of life. Or trying to get caught up on others’ lives and your heart breaks over and over of all the STUFF that they have gone through in your absence. At times it seems to be a major race in trying to catch up with the race of life, and you are like a hamster going on a wheel nowhere. Wondering will I ever catch up or should I just go hide in a corner with a cup of coffee and a really good book.
A time of war and a time of peace. The first few months had been crazy and a whirlwind. I want to have a peace before heading back into the crazy life called being a missionary in a third world country. It seems to boil down to my need for someone to just “get” me and to know that I am not alone in this journey called furlough.
Through all of this, God is good all the time! God is faithful! God is all knowing! God is there all the time and He does “get” me.
Thank you Jesus!!
Ruth, Thank you for your honesty, your love for others, and your continuing commitment to grow in dependence on God and in His character. Love you! Believe in you! Inspired by you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ruth for sharing this post! You have written down some of the things that I have been feeling as I am transitioning out of PNG, had 6 months in Canada, then now in Cambodia. Thank you for reminding me that Jesus "gets" me as I am processing a combination of reverse cultural shock and cultural shock at the same time. Thank you Jesus for "getting" us wherever we are in lice
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